February 13th 2010 I walk up my girlfriend to the door and kiss her good night on the warm Saturday night. It had been about 5 months since we had been exclusive and about 4 since we have kissed. We do our nightly routine before I return to my car and speed home trying to get home by curfew, but this time something a little unexpected happens. I look down and she looks up and she says 3 little words. "I love you." Gotten caught off a little unguarded, but knowing the day would eventually come I reply with a "thanks". Not the reply she was hoping. She looks back at me with a sense of distraught bursts into tears lets go of me and runs into the house. I can remember that night vividly and I remember no regrets. We later talked on the phone about the situation. I told her how I felt and then listened attentively to how she was feeling. This common expression of "I love you" is no unusual phrase in high school where it is passed around like a large bag of pretzels. I explained how I wanted to get married in the temple after my mission. She then explained how she was willing to wait for me after my mission but that she didn't believe in the book of Mormon. I have no regrets of not saying "I love you" because we had no future and she wasn't the mother that I wanted for my children that would raise my posterity in the gospel.
Flash forward to tonight. Carla and I went to the "Savior of the World". We both really enjoyed it. Then in the middle of the play she sat on the edge of her seat and I started scratching her back. Before I knew it I wrote "I love you" with my finger on her back. I glance at her face waiting to see if she interpreted the message. She gave me a poker face and I couldn't tell if she understood what I wrote. Then after casually scratching her back with all five fingers of my left hand I write out "I <3 u". This time she look at me directly and smiled. After the play we walk hand in hand back to my apartment (which is a little unusual because we typically go to her place). We read an ensign article briefly at the table and then head over to the couch. Then after talking and cuddling on the couch I get the impression "tell her you love her". "Tell her I love her?" I repeated in my mind. I want to but I don't know what she will think. I shrugged it off hoping I would get a 2nd confirmation if it was really the Lord's will. After a few moments she looked at me and said "I love us". I knew that this was the confirmation that I had desired. I take a deep breath and look at her and say "Carla, I am always happy when I see you. I am going to tell you something that I have never told anyone else before. I love you." "You love me?", she replied. "Yeah I do." "Well I love you too", she replied. A sudden feeling of relief came over me. She then retold how when she has talked to her mom her mom had told her she had been love. She told me she wondered if I was going to tell her a few days earlier. Tonight it just felt right. She then told me that her parents trusted me so much. How before her parents had only felt so comfortable with only one other guy but how she said she still had reservations about him. She then told me how she and her parents say I love you in sign language to each others from a distance when they can't say it verbally.
Carla is such an amazing girl. I am excited to what our future has in hold. I feel like something big might happen when I take her to Brian and Olive's graduation but only time can tell. All I know is that I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has sent me such a great girl and who willing to give a guy like me a 2nd confirmation.
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